Unlike Dr Karan Singh, the erstwhile Maharaja of Jammu and Kashmir, a tall Dogra icon, I was born in Jammu. He was born in Cannes, France. I was born a humble Dogra in a joint family living in Malhotrian Di Gali ( Malhotra Street ) and started my schooling in Jammu and Kashmir. For many years, I studied away from the state. I completed my high school from what we know today as Prayagraj, Uttar Pradesh, and returned home for further studies.
In 1975, I joined the IAF (Indian Air Force), as a commissioned officer. My career in the IAF took me to every nook and corner of the country many times over. I became familiar with almost all the states of the country. I met and interacted with a large cross section of the Indians hitherto unknown to me. It unfolded before me a vast span of land mass and myriad diimensions of our culture.
This grooming gave me a pan Indian outlook. I met people from different parts of the country in the air force itself. They spoke different languages and belonged to the communities I had not even heard of before. It was always a colourful mix of people, religions, beliefs, rituals, customs and cuisine. It taught me to appreciate others for whatever they are; not only just tolerate them, but respect them for all their diversities, peculiarities and uniqueness.
I also noticed how people tend to cling to their own, to the people from their own communities. So, if Tamilians tend to interact more often with fellow inhabitants from different parts of Tamilnadu, similar was the case with the Oriyas and other communities too.
People also tend to interact more with their co-religionists. I find nothing wrong in such behaviour. It is a natural human instinct of bonding. But that, alas, is not the case with the Dogras who, somehow, don’t appreciate the fellow Dogras.
You ask an Oriya who is the best cardiac surgeon in Mumbai. Pat comes the reply : Dr Ramakanta Panda, a fellow Oriya. Dr Panda is, no doubt, one of the leading cardiac surgeons in Mumbai ( he operated upon prime minister Manmohan Singh ). But, then, he is not the only one. There are so many surgeons performing cardiac surgeries in Mumbai. And, most of them operate with equal, if not better, finnesse, expertise and results. However, all Oriyas will sing praises of Dr Panda, whether they know him ( and his medical expertise ), or not. Similar is the case in Bengaluru where they all go gaga over the name of Dr Devi Shetty.
Nevertheless, if you expect a Dogra to follow the similar traits, you are sadly mistaken. Chances are, he will deliberately ignore a fellow Dogra even if he is the best recommendation available. Given a chance, he will also be disparaging towards him.
Dogras love to denigrate achievements of fellow Dogras. We don’t like to acknowledge talent and brilliance in our own folks. Such acknowledgement, somehow, and strangely, makes us feel small in our own eyes. We draw pleasure in disparaging the achievers in our own community. We start ignoring the proven talent of fellow Dogras and, just to spite and belittle them, we start appreciating competing non-Dogras who have far lesser talents.
Let me narrate you an incident to illustrate my point. About 20 years ago, a leading Dogri literary organisation of Jammu woke up to the importance of Ved Pal Deep in Dogri literature, especially his contribution to the genre of ghazals. Supported by good samaritans like journalist Ved Bhasin, it was decided to produce an audio album of Dogri ghazals written by Deep.
One fine day, I got a call from the producer of the proposed music album, a leading Dogri organisation of Jammu. The president of the the organisation, an old friend who kept in touch off and on, was at the other end. After the pleasantries, he said he was in Mumbai since a week recording for a music album of Ved Pal Deep. Composer of the album, again a friend of yore, was also with him.
They informed that the proposed album contained six ghazals. Three were for a male voice and the other three for the female. The male singer had already finished the dubbing. They further informed, they had tried several renowned female singers in Mumbai, but, somehow, the results had not been up to their expectations. So, now they wanted to request Seema Anil Sehgal ( SAS) to sing for them.
It was clear like a crystal that they had made all attempts not to use the voice of Seema Anil Sehgal who was by then an acknowledged exponent of ghazals in the Indian sub-continent, besides her proven merit in rendering Dogri songs.
Nevertheless, I sincerely appreciate the truthfulness in their admitting, though indirectly, that Seema, the Dogra singer, was their last, and best, refuge for redemption. But, what about their projections that they are the committed saviours of Dogri Asmita (Dogra pride) ? We presently leave that for another occasion.
Any lesser singer would have felt insulted and refused to sing for them, under the circumstances, but not Seema Anil Sehgal. She is committed to Jammu, Dogri and Dogra culture. So, Seema accepted to come to their rescue and dubbed the three Dogri ghazals of Ved Pal Deep to their utmost satisfaction!
During the second half of the 80s, I was posted at Air Headquarters, New Delhi when a friend from Jammu came over to seek solution to some medical issues he was facing. We sought guidance from a doctor who hailed from Jammu. He guided us to seek consultation from a certain doctor, a non-Dogra.
Before we could meet this recommended doctor, we learnt of a top notch expert in the same field of medicine that our friend had ignored. We soon found out why this top notch expert was ignored and was not recommended. This top notch expert was a fellow Jammuite, a Dogra ! So, how could a Jammuite recommend a fellow Dogra, even when he is a far better choice!
Do you know what is the most popular lament of the Indians, especially, the Jammuites ? Well, it is this: we do not appreciate the good in our fellow travellers. More so, if they happen to be from our own community or region and speak the same language.
The other day, Dr Karan Singh, the erstwhile Maharaja of Jammu and Kashmir and a celebrated Dogra icon, remarked: Dogras love to pull down fellow Dogras, or words to that effect. The occasion was his felicitation at Dogri Sanstha, Jammu, on 22 October.
What he meant was that we, the Dogras, don’t tolerate excellence in fellow Dogras. If other Dogras perform better than us or display more intelligence, progress and achievements than us, we don’t even try to compete in a fair manner by improving ourselves. We simply display negative traits and become jealous. We try to pull them down. Coming from him, this observation gains more momentum, although I have been aware of such remarks ever since I became an adult entity.
Talk to all the “think tank individuals” from Jammu, and they will tell you that Dogras have a unique pass time activity called “leg pulling”. They love to pull the legs of those Dogras who dare perform better and excel in their respective fields of activity. In Sanskrit they call it ” koop mandook pravriti “, which means “traits like the frogs in a well”.
We all know that frogs living together in a well don’t like if a fellow frog dare try climbing up the wall to escape the well. The moment they learn of such tendencies, they quickly unite to pull down the legs of the frog trying to climb out and bring him back to the well base. Idea is that no frog likes to escape the comfort zone of the well, go out and explore the world of big pools, rivers or the sea. And, they will not permit other frogs too to escape to the vast world outside the enclosure of the well.
On 25 October, Major General Goverdhan Singh Jamwal, the proud icon of the Dograland wrote in Facebook : What is in my mind? Dogra is in my mind. I want Dogras to understand themselves. I want Dogras to be united particularly politically. I want Dogras to shun jealousy. I want them to avoid or control Egoism, always. If they follow it, they will become supermen. God bless them. Jai Dogra.
To my mind, it is important that we learn how to spot talent in others, recognise their brilliance, intelligence and qualities of the heart and mind, and accept these as a simple truth. This truth, then, must be appreciated and respected. Only thereafter starts the process wherein we try to emulate them, learn from them, whether like Arjun or as an Eklavya, but learn we must. All my life I have done this and I still do it.
I call upon you all to join this club of appreciation and gratitude; appreciation for all the good in others and gratitude for whatever we are endowed with. This is the best way forward. Jealousy makes us mean, a lesser human being. It leads us to a dark and bottomless pit.
I recall a couplet by Qateel Shifaii presented here in rough translation:
mujh se karte hain “qateel” is liye kuchh log hasad /
kyuun mire sher hain maqbool haseenaon mein //
(Just because my couplets are popular with the belles
Some people are jealous of me)
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