Aditi Kohli
Trust is the glue of life. It is the most important ingredient in effective communication. It is the foundational principle that holds all relationships. Trust believes that the person who is trusted will do what is expected. It starts with the family and goes to others. Success results in feeling of security, trust and optimism, while failure leads towards an orientation of insecurity and mistrust, possibly resulting in attachment disorders. According to psychoanalyst Eric Erikson, “Development of basic trust is the first state of psychosocial development occurring or falling, during the first two years of life”. Trust is basically an act of placing confidence in someone. It is a fundamental human experience, necessary for society to function and for any person to live relatively happy. Without it, fear rules. Trust is not an either or proportion; but a matter of degree and certain life experiences can impact a person’s ability to trust others. Everyone has uncertainty about whom to trust, how much to trust, when not to trust and so forth at one time or another. When mistrust seems to play a dominant role in person’s life, past disappointments or betrayals may be the root of the issue. Mistrust is a valid and reasoned response to feeling betrayed, but a person’s life can be adversely affected when the feeling of mistrust are persuasive, resulting in anger, anxiety and self-doubt. Fortunately a person can learn to trust again, by checking out certain myths about trust. M.R. Covey & R. Merrill in 2006; have talked about some Myths of Trust as:-
*Trust is Soft: trust is hard , real and quantifiable.
*Trust is Slow: nothing is as fast as the speed of trust
*Trust is built solely on integrity: trust is a function of character including integrity and competence.
*You either have trust or you don’t: trust can be both created and destroyed.
*You can’t teach trust: trust can be effectively taught and learned, and it can become a lever gable strategic advantage
*Trusting people is too risky: not trusting people is a greater risk.
We all are familiar with Shri Jagjit Singh’s words in one of his Ghazals “Ganth agar lag jaye toh phir, rishtey ho ya doori …. Laakh kare koshish khulne mein waqt to lagta hai….”
Making relations healthy, one should go through the below :
*Doing exactly – is the first step to build trust; Actions speak louder than words, so you should always do better than what you say.
*Honour your promises – If you want to be trusted by others , you should be a dependable person. After making a promise you should try to meet it well. Don’t make promises you don’t intend to meet. If you cannot meet your promise for some reasons , try to explain it to the promise decently.
*Tell the Truth – We all know that the truth may hurt a little but a lie hurts forever. Therefore you should always speak the trust for long-term benefits. In case you cannot tell the truth , keep silence rather than telling a lie.
*Display loyalty- It means protecting other when that are with you and even when they are not there to join the conversation. Loyalty is about people who say and stay true for you even behind your back. One of the most important ways to manifest integrity is to be loyal to those who are not present. In doing so, we are competent enough to gain trust of those who are present.
Some people may have trust issues, but some people seems to have an issue with the responsibility of being trusted. One should have …………..Trust takes years to build, seconds to breaks and forever to repair. But when you start trusting someone trust by heart. In words of Dr. Lavrie -Love Trust Respect Friendship – Remember these four ingredients for a healthy intimate relationship. It’s that simple. At end of the day, we can only say that, love all trust a few &do wrong to none!!
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