Crisis of the Self

Shivangani Sharma
Deserted streets, shut down public places, lack of human interaction, and empty parks, is the panorama during present times plagued by the arrival of COVID. Verily, the streets will soon fill again, the now desolated parks and public places will witness their share of people, and we will leave our screen-lit burrows to see the outer world. However, the crisis as we face today lays bare before us various questions worth mulling over. It makes me wonder whether the present crisis is mere of the physical body or much more than that. The rupture caused by COVID has led to a crisis that is not merely physical but rather an amalgamation of a physical, social, economic, and mental one, all striking at once. My point of concern in all this mayhem is the impact of prevailing crunch on the mental health of individuals, which I see is ignored in contrast to other aspects. However, it does not weigh down the gravity of this particular aspect.
As the only viable means of containment of the widespread infection is lockdown, self-isolation, and social distancing, it is apparent that many of us are left closed off from our regular social life, and social connections. This self-isolation and social distancing present to us a tricky option of choosing between solitude and loneliness. These two terms, although appearing to be similar are not synonymous with each other. David Vincent, while talking about the issue calls loneliness as “failed solitude”. Solitude differs from loneliness in its being a happy escape whereas loneliness can even kill people. Loneliness is that state of mind wherein a person feels all the negative thoughts and emotions; on the other hand, a person in solitude feels joy and pure bliss and enjoys his own company. Once, during a psychotherapy session, a woman was asked by a psychologist as to how lonely she feels. The woman raised her hand, folded her four fingers towards the palm and raised the thumb, “that lonely”, she replied. This is how a lonely person feels, being broken apart from all others, in the dreary cave of darkness with no ray of hope. Loneliness “is not synonymous with being alone, nor does being with others guarantee protection from feelings of loneliness”, writes John Cacioppo, a leading psychologist on the subject. It is that feeling that can wreak havoc sometimes, and it can also be a result of a lack of social networks.
As the COVID ravages across the nations, leaving people shut in inside the houses, many of us being left apart or cut off from families, partners, friends, or loved ones, including our otherwise usual lives surrounded by people, there is every likelihood of falling into the pit of loneliness. There is no denying the fact that loneliness is not always a result of being alone, besides, being surrounded by people does not always curb loneliness. Yet in such times when one is cut off from the routine lifestyle with everyone being confined within the boundaries of their houses, the likelihood of falling into the trap of loneliness increases manifolds. The other choice, however, is to find solace in being alone while going on a voyage of self-discovery. Being able to make proper use of being alone constitutes a part of growing up. Thus, there is a possibility of turning this lethality of loneliness into a happy solitude that presents to us fertile ground for self-growth, personal-grooming, spiritual meditation, and a heightened understanding of the self.
Once I read an instance about a pair of Gibbons who was brought into a zoo together and they shared the same cabin where they were kept. Both of them would spend quite jolly time together in the company of each other. However, one fine day, one of them, the female one died and the other partner was left alone. It resulted in him being inactive, not eating well, and retiring to one corner of the chamber. Even the health of the male Gibbon started declining. After research, it was concluded that it was the lack of companionship and warmth of the partner that has led to this decline. Even an animal feels lonely in such circumstances and it is a well-proven fact, then why can’t we humans go through the same. We all long for love, belongingness, companionship, and lack of it sometimes pushes us into the abyss of loneliness. Cut off as we are from the outer world these days, there might be many of us who are feeling alone in these times. In our usual lives, we bond together by touching, holding hands, even embracing each other. Our joys and sorrows are expressed through touch. A usual handshake, the embrace of a loved one, sitting next to a friend or lover is something that makes us feel warm and secure and the lack of it might result in us feeling lonely. However, for those feeling sad and lonely these days, there is a chance to turn straw into gold. For many of us, COVID is a call to inaction, putting life at a halt and impelling us to turn inwards. There is a possibility of turning the numbness and anxiety of being alone into productive utilization of available time and opportunity. Wordsworth said that he “wandered lonely as a cloud”, by which he meant that he was all on his own, not that he suffered the bouts of suicidal loneliness.
Solitude brings forth unexplored avenues of the inner self. It gives us time to ponder over things and come up with something worthy. COVID is not just a disease of the physical body but rather a sort of experiment that has led to a paradigm shift in our lives. How we respond to this change and challenges that come along with it is totally up to us. As the activity to the outer world is curbed, why not try to turn inwards and explore those aspects of our lives which were hitherto dumped into forgetfulness. As the time and situation are tricky, I would say that we must endeavour to turn this experience of being alone into solitude. As for the COVID crisis, “this too shall pass”.
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