KAGA BHUSHUNDI SPEAKETH
Suman K Sharma
The other day I was standing in the lawns of Jammu University auditorium when I spotted Kaga Bhushundiji on a nearby windowsill. ‘So you have noticed me at last,’ he said rather tartly. As Kagaji ruffled his feathers demonstratively, I saw blackish powder falling off his wings. ‘Kagaji, your colour is coming off,’ I quipped. ‘Don’t mock at me, son, it’s AAP I am shedding,’ he rejoined. The music concert inside the auditorium was about to begin and other guests had started queuing up at the entry gate. But here was Kagaji before me who won’t be dismissed till I had heard him through. Fearing lest the creepy creature should follow me inside and disturb others, I decided to indulge him for a few moments.
‘I appreciate your sense of humour, Kagaji, but the elections are over. Couldn’t we nitpick over the Aam Admi Party some other time? I am here to attend a music concert.’
‘Not your blessed Aam Admi Party, I am talking of AAP as in ‘Ambient Air Pollution’. Listen to me or face the music. I leave the choice to you.’
‘Relax, Kagaji, too much stress can break an old bird’s heart.’
‘Don’t you worry about me, son, it’s time you prayed for your own heart. Look at what you have done to your city. It was once a lovely place – sitting on a hilltop, watered on two sides and surrounded by verdant open spaces. Now people who know count it amongst the dirtiest in the world.’
‘O ho, you are talking of WHO’s latest report on pollution! Jammu indeed finds a place in world’s 20 most polluted cities. They measure the unwholesomeness of a city by the quantity of the particulate matter (particles and droplets) of a diameter no bigger than 2.5 micrometers (PM???) present in one cubic meter of its air, you know.…’
‘No, I don’t. What I do know is that this beautiful city has been spoiled. Fifty years ago its crisp air was life-sustaining. Now it scrapes the throat, stings the lungs and hurts the heart. Even an immortal like me feels choked here.’
‘Then you haven’t been to Delhi lately, Kagaji. That city’s air is three times as much polluted as ours. Even places like Pune and Dehradun are dirtier than Jammu. Our city, at 56 micrograms of PM??? per cubic meter, at least, is at the same level of pollution as Beijing of China is…’
‘I am amazed at your stupidity, son! It is like saying ‘I am happy with my poison because it is not deadlier than my neighbour’s’. Do you know these minuscule particles – invisible to bare eyes and inhaled by man and the beast every moment of their lives – clog their systems and cause them death and disease? The plain truth is that the air you breathe in is unhealthy.’
‘You mean we Jammu-walas should stop breathing?’
‘All I meant was that your city’s air should be cleaner.’
‘Then tell me how we can achieve that.’
‘By reducing the causes that make it dirty, that’s how. But there are problems galore. Can’t you do with fewer vehicles that spew all those noxious fumes in the environs? Perhaps not. Because when you go for a morning constitutional, you would prefer to drive to the park rather than walk that 200-300 meter stretch from home. That’s your idea of ease and luxury. Can’t you have eco-friendly public transport in place of your horrendous Matadors? Perhaps not. Because no one is prepared to bear the costs. Can’t you keep your open drains clean? Perhaps not. Because you are bothered only about your own commode to look bright and shiny, no matter how the odour of your last evening’s dinner fouls the street long after you are done with your ablutions. Can’t you think of the ways to keep the dust from rising? Perhaps not. Because you lack the will or the imagination of the people such as Australians, who spread crushed tree-bark over the dusty patches of their land to make it rich and dust-free.
‘The insidious AAP, it seems, isn’t going to leave you until you change yourself.’
Follow our WhatsApp channel