A tribute to our elders

Manu Arora
Every year on 10th of October, The World Health Organization observes the World Mental Health Day along with the initiative of the World Federation of Mental Health in order to raise awareness on mental health issues across the globe. This year the World Mental Health Day address issues on “Mental health and older adults”.
Emotionally, as children we expect our parents to always look after our needs.  No matter how old we are, our parents are still our parent and the child/parent dynamic unconsciously dominates our thinking. So, when it comes to the point where our parents are no longer independentand suffering emotionaly, it is very hard to accept.
Our aging parents have gone through series of stressors which they had battle through or still are sorting out so that they can give strength to us, their children. Their sources of stress may involve money, change in living situation, or family problems.  If we take example of India, in our country most of our parents were born during the phase of independence and post-independence. The period after independence was critical in India and many people faced economic crisis during this period. They have compromised most of their desires and strived to bring up their families that suffered from economic crises. They began to develop interest towards religious activities and spirituality after they began longing for a settled and an economically stable life. Our times have seen rapid changes in economy in the nation. Our kids of the present generation are born when the technology is operating at a high. Children are customized to a comfortable life since their childhood and therefore are unable to view the hardships of life. They do not understand the pain their grandparents underwent to earn a stable shelter and daily bread. Due to the difference in bringing up, the mental framework differs between the old and the young. Generation gap occurs between parents and children.  Due to emotional incompatibility arguments over silly matters and conflicts occur often frequently and the peace in the premises of the family often gets disturbed. In the extreme cases the people even decide to abandon each other. Children often decide to leave the house of the parents due to lack of emotional space constantly, under such pressure our parents or grand-parents silently bear the ’empty nest syndrome’ as they do not want to hinder the decision of their children, they compromise their desire of staying together for the sake of the happiness of their children.
In high-income countries the data is even higher, as family care  is dramatically shrinking these days, around 4-6% of older persons have experienced some form of maltreatment at home. The frequency should be even higher, as many older adults are too scared or are unable to report maltreatment. Elder maltreatment can lead not only to physical injuries but also to serious, sometimes long-lasting psychological consequences, including depression and anxiety. Depression affects 1 in 5 older people living in the community and 2 in 5 living in old age homes. Dementia affects 5% of people over the age of 65 and 20% of those over 80.
Ageing is a gradual process and there is much we can do to promote good mental health and well-being in later life. Participation in meaningful activities, strong personal relationships and good physical health are key factors that can help. Addressing elder’s maltreatment in the society is a critically important approach for the promotion of mental health among the elderly. Family caregivers and community support are essential for the elderly to remain in their homes when any form of disability strikes them. It is important to believe that our elderly parents or grand-parents will be able to rely on their loved ones to meet their long term care needs when they require help. As caregivers it is critical that family members create a long term care plan for elderly family members and not wait for problems to become an immediate crisis.  Moreover, a good bonding is needed between caregivers and elderly parents where both should develop the attribute of respect, feeling and understanding for each other and also realize that they both depend upon each other at some point or the other.
One of the greatest challenges of aging is how the support network changes. Retirement, illness, death, and moving out of the local area can take away close friends and family members. Staying connected with important others is not always easy as one grow old.  This is also true even for those who have always had an active social life. In later life, getting around may become difficult in the social network.. An elderly person must always get opportunity to spend time with people they enjoy and who make them feel good. It may be a good neighbor whom one likes to spend time with, having meal or go for shopping with children, or even if children are not close by calling up or chatting frequently to keep relationships fresh is necessary. Giving back to the community is also a wonderful way to strengthen social bonds. The meaning and purpose one find in helping others enrich and expand ones meaning to live life. Community activities are a natural way to meet others interested in similar activities or who share similar values.  For example, getting involved in religious activities has a positive impact on well-being because religious beliefs provide improved thinking or encourage meditative practices relevant to the appraisal of life events and coping. It also generate a ‘we feeling’  because of one’s participation in a congregation and the fact that one acts alongside others, also, more one feels a part of the team, the better becomes one’s well-being.
Thus we can say that healthy aging means continually reinventing oneself as individual pass through landmark ages such as 60, 70, 80 and beyond. It means finding new things to enjoy, learn to adapt to change, stay physically and socially active, and feel connected to community and loved ones.
(The author is HOD Psychiatric Department GMC Jammu.)