Swati
“Be the change and learn the change- to change the way we educate our children”
Pariksha pe charcha is a great initiative from our Prime Minister Narendra Modi. His initiative to understand the fear and anxiety of young generation is commendable because if you understand the pressures and expectations of young generation you are automatically taking care of the future of the country. During a session of Pariksha pe charcha 2023, it was great to see students sharing their fear, anxieties and worries with the prime minister of the world’s largest democracy. If you go through the whole discussion, you feel that the most powerful person of this country is so grounded that he can understand problems of students so well and is giving solutions which are practical, simple and relatable with students life as we are listening to some experienced parent and counselor. There are lots of important issues discussed during this program, in which very important is Pariksha and Parents. My insight and inspiration from that program made me realize that parents can greatly help in reducing exam anxiety if they take care of small things during the exams.
Exam days are here and parents are going pale, nervous and sick with tension. I have seen parents suddenly getting so disciplined and restricted in their actions when kids have their exams especially board exams, like no guests are allowed in their houses, invitation cards are not welcomed and even grandparents are restricted to their own life without TV and social activities. Lots of time I have noticed parents outside the gate of the examination hall for three hours waiting for kids with pale faces and nervous hands, the signs of an anxious parent. Exam anxiety actually starts from the parents and then moves to the students. So if we know the cause of the anxiety we can save our kids from sacrificing their life in the name of exams.
In the late 1800s, schools were designed and intended to teach obedience during the rise of our industrial age. Large corporates needed workers for their factories and so the purpose of the academic system was to create obedient and competent workers who never asked questions. Our academic system still is the same, a factory to standardize all the rising students to ensure they fit the desired mould. Despite the fact our world has dramatically changed since the late 1800s, our education system is still the same.
My purpose in this article is not to criticize our academic system but to change our perception regarding academics and exams. We have internet now days and we don’t need any encyclopedia to go through any information. Our kids don’t ask us for any information, they have Google and YouTube in hand for all extra information which makes them a relatively superior generation. We are expecting by 2024, a billion of the population will work from home. They are not going to work in one company as a generalist, but as a specialist for a lot of companies. We are dealing with such a generation and so we need to understand that to get high marks in exams is immaterial for them going ahead. They want their own new ways to achieve their dreams. We want entrepreneurs, artists and innovators and the best part is, the economy wants it as well.
Let’s not push students for something they are not meant for. It will make us and our kids’ life difficult. Good colleges and degrees are not a guarantee for a successful and happy life. The life of your own choice is a happy life and no exam can decide your happiness and success in life.
A generation who are in their 40s and above can relate with the fact very easily that we did not get a chance to follow our dreams. It may be the lack of knowledge, direction or devices to know the world. Let us help this generation to follow their dreams and make this world without the fear of the grading system. They are not to impress anybody but for some specific purpose in life. Let’s help them to touch that purpose and then see the magic. Some important ways to do this could be as follows.
* Give emotional freedom to our kids. Emotional freedom is freedom to talk and express and not to trap them in our own emotions and failures. Give them a chance to vent out their emotions through conversations. Try to have discussions of their choice other than studies to make them feel important and interested in our company.
* Never ever compare and criticize them-respect their skills and talent and give feedback to improve. Comparing them with others is unfair as every kid has his own skill set and we must appreciate that skill set to encourage them to use and improve those skills to have success in life.
* Teaching them planning and time management. Plan everything with them, their celebrations, their school presentations and even their exams preparation. Let’s not preach but practice time management by keeping distance from technology together once in a week by restricting our own screen time to enjoy a quality time together.
* Remember and remind them their achievements – make a note of all the achievements small, big anyone. please remind your kids that they can do it and even they are doing good job. Count their positives and strengths.
* We should teach them that the life does bring its own set of ups and down by our own life examples. Support them in their lows and make them to be realistic in their expectations and evaluate their performance in a positive way.
* Keep expectations from our kids according to their potential and not according to our social status. A lot of anxiety comes from comparison and peer pressure. Let’s acknowledge our kids’ potential and help them to nurture it. At times it is difficult to handle their low moods but we mustn’t hesitate to take help from professionals and counselors.
This exam time, let’s deal with ourselves and our kids’ exam anxiety and enjoy the festival of exams by preparing a lot of good and healthy food for them, make the home flow with aroma of their taste and create an environment of celebration by celebrating exam time.
It’s never easy to be a parent, but it will pay off in the end.
Good luck !!!
(The author is Founder, Ttalk Easy Take easy Trainer and Motivational Speaker)
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