Suman K Sharma
Oddly enough, Shivratri reminds me of the old Bollywood movies. A fail-safe trope often used then was that for love, a boy or a girl married someone against the wishes of his or her parents and withstood the bickering of the in-laws. Maybe it was a throwback to the deathless union of Shiv and Sati (the latter was reborn as Parvati). Sant Tulsidas in Shri Ramcharitmanas devotes a good part of Balkand (47-120) to their exemplary bonding in spite of the impediments, including death. Sati, also called ‘Uma’, was one of the many daughters of Daksha Prajapati. Prajapati and his son-in-law, Lord Shiv, had no love lost between them. Lord Shiv is Himself Mahadev, the god of gods. He is not supposed to play courtly to any conceited authority, earthly or divine. So, when Daksha arrived at a yagya being performedby Lord Brahma, Shiv kept sitting while everyone else among the devas stood up in his honour. Prajapati could not digest the perceived insult on Shiv’s part. In his heart he nurtured rancour against Him ever after.
Even so, that hardly affected the married life of Uma-Shankar. Together they roamed the universe to witness its goings-on. It was the Treta Yug. Ravan had kidnapped Sita;and Ram, in the guise of a lovelorn prince-in-exile, combed the wilderness in search for her. It so happened that Shiv-Shankar and Sati were also somewhere around. As she watched in amazement, He went into a tranceon seeing Ram from a distance and hailed him as ‘sachchidanand jag pavan’ – the World-purifying Ultimate Being. Sati was puzzled. Why would her husband show such profound respect to an earthly scion of a royal family? Why precisely had He used for King Dashrath’s son an epithet reserved only for Narayan? Sati was well aware that her Lord could not go wrong as He was all-knowing. But how could Ram, who went about looking for his lost wife like an ordinary mortal, be the omniscient, omnipotent and omnipresent Narayan Himself? Doubts pestered her mind like a swarm of bees, yet she dared not ask Bhagwan Shiv for fear of offending Him.
Shiv-Shankar read Sati’s mind. He tried to apprise her of the mysteries of the Unknowable One. Yet, she remained sceptical. He was left with no option but to advise her to go and herself find out who Ram truly was. And she went ahead so to do. Adopting Sita’s form, she appeared before Ram. Alarmingly for her, Ram took her for what she actually was, asking her courteously –
Jori pani Prabhu kinh pranamu/ Pita smet linh nij naamu
Kahehu bahori khan Brishketu/Bipin akeli phirhu kehi hetu
The Lord joined His hands and bowed to her, mentioning His name along with that ofHis father’s. Then He asked her where was the Warrior, Shiv-ji? What for she was roaming in the jungle all by herself? -Ramcharitmanas, Balkand, 52-iv
To remove any trace of doubt in Sati’s mind, Ram, the Lord-incarnate, created before her multiple images not only of Himself but of all the gods and their spouses. She was flummoxed. Ram was genuine, after all. Hurriedly, she went back to Shiv. He asked her if Ram had stood true to her test. She lied to Him that she had done no such thing but gone there only to bow before Him. Shiv could see that Sati had erred on two counts. She had lied to Him, and more seriously, she had gone before Ram in the guise of Sita. From that moment, Shiv took a decision not to have physical relationship with Sati any longer. They continued to live together on the Mount Kailash, but not as husband and wife. Lord Shiv went into meditation. Opening His eyes after a long spell of time, He offered Sati a seat in front of Him and not by His side, signifying clearly her altered status in relation to Him. Much aggrieved though she was, Sati could not utter a word of complaint as she knew it was all her doing.
It was during this period that her father, Daksh Prajapati, decided to perform a yagya. Inviting all the deities, he pointedly left out Lord Shiv because of his long-standing spite against Him. Sati noticed the celestial beings flying all over the sky in their decorated space crafts. On being asked, Shiv Shankar told her they were going to participate in Daksh’s yagya. Sati then sought His permission also to go to her father’s house on such a special occasion. Telling her about Prajapati’s attitude against Him, Shiv gave her cool-headed advice:
Jadpi mitra, prabhu, pitu, gur geha/Jaaei binu bolehun na sandeha
Tadpi birodh maan jehn koi/Tahaan gayen kalyanu na hoi
Even though there is no doubt that one may visit the house of one’s friend, master, father and guru without being invited; yet no good would come out if one goes to a place where one is likely to face hostility. – Ibid, 61-iii
But when Sati insisted on going regardless of His sage advice, Shiv bade her farewell, sending His chief attendants to accompany her.
Sati received a cold reception at her parents’ house, and worse. At the yagya she did not find any oblation to Lord Shiv. It was a direct insult to her husband. Consumed by appalling fury and shame at her father’s insensitivity and the lack of her own perspicacity, she put an end to her life by way of yogic auto-immolation. Her dying wish was to be reborn to marry Lord Shiv all over again.
Shiv and His attendants demonstrated their rage at Sati’s death effectively. Then the Lord became a recluse. When Kamdev attempted to disturb Him in His solitude, he was burnt to a cinder. But even dark times do not last forever. Sati was reborn to King Himachal, the lord of mountains and his queen, Maina. The infant was named ‘Parvati’ (of the mountains). Growing up to be a maiden of unequalled beauty and feminine graces, her one wish was to marry Shiv. Queen Maina would have none of it. He was the one whose exterior had everything no woman, least of all, a queen, would like to see in her son-in-law. Tulsidas gives us a view of Lord Shiv as Queen Maina saw Him heading His baraat:
The groom has rubbed ashes on his body. For jewels he is adorned with snakes and skulls. He is naked, of matted hair and fearsome. In company of Him are ghosts, demons, evil spirits, witches and rakshasas of frightening faces…. -Ibid, 94-chhand
Maina threatened Parvati that she would jump from a peak with her down to their death, leap into a raging fire or drown themselves in the sea; even desert her home and bring it ill-fame rather than marry her beautiful daughter to that bowrah (‘bawra’ in Hindi – a crazy man (ibid, 96-chhand). Yet, Parvati did marry Shiv for all the time to come.
One does not deny that there are subtle implications of the Shiv-Parvati story, such as the eternal union of the Purush and Prakriti. Yet, the romance of the worldly man-woman love is no less significant. The one symbolises the other. No wonder that in practically all the Sanantan weddings, the recitation of Shiv-Parvati story forms a part of the pre-wedding celebrations.
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