There used to be a very popular poster that read : “I am the boss in this house and I have my wife’s permission to say so !” How many of my young readers have seen it, I do not know. I wonder how many of those who belong to the sixties and the seventies recall the poster. The poster is still in circulation, if you look around. The poster, of course, is a misnomer and is no reflection on status of women in our society.
International Women’s Day ( IWD ) falls on 8 March every year. It is gaining popularity with every passing year. There were a number of programmes held to mark the IWD ; I attended five such events.
Incidentally, this “day” has already spread to almost over a month ! I am privy to the information that the IWD is being celebrated in village Gadhi Garh, on the outskirts of Jammu city, as late as 29 March !
Poetry sessions have become a part and parcel of such celebrations where women poets exhibit their writing prowess in full measure. I was a part of the audience at the cultural academy complex where a well known poetess read a poem claiming woman is superior to man and received big applause from the fellow members of Mahila Kavya Manch.
Later, during an informal interaction, the same lady remarked : I am a lucky woman to have a husband who “allows” me to indulge in all the social and literary activities that I fancy !” What a tragedy that a husband has to “allow” a modern, educated and city bred emancipated woman to indulge in activities she enjoys!
A variety of views by men and women, when examined closely, boil down to two categories. One, women were always empowered, at least in India. Two, women were forced to play the second fiddle in a predominantly male dominated society. Both sides would quote from the history and the scriptures to prove their point of view. Let us examine the issues.
Nobody can deny that gender bias against women exists in our society. Pregnant women undergo ultrasound testing to find out the gender of the fetus. Female fetuses are not welcome and, more often than not, face abortions. Female infanticide is resorted to eliminate female lives. Rapes are thrust upon women all across the country. As if all these atrocities are not enough, quite a large number of women are subjected to violence and abuse at the hands of their spouses.
I will not quote from history or scriptures. But, I will use my observations and available data to put forth my take on the subject.
Dear readers, have you not noticed this signboard at all the ultrasound clinics : ” we don’t perform tests to find the gender of the unborn baby” ? Or words to that effect ? Such notices are mandatory. These have to be displayed as per the directions of the Government.
What is the import of such notices ? It simply underlines the fact that scores of families expecting arrival of a child wish to find out the gender of the child. Why ? What is the necessity ? Does it relate to safety and well-being of the lady ? No, this information is sought so that, if need be, the pregnancy could be aborted.
Now, such a need for an abortion arises only if the expected child happens to be a female. I have never heard a male pregnancy being aborted, even if there are already six, or ten, male children in the family. This fact must be recognised if we are serious about the status of women in our society.
Abortions are a worldwide phenomenon, no doubt. Approximately, 20 million ( two crore ) pregnancies were aborted worldwide, as per WHO ( World Health Organisation), on an average, between 2015 and 2019. This figure includes total termination of pregnancies both male and female fetuses. In most of the civilised and advanced societies, abortions, if allowed, are performed for the safety of the expectant mother or in case of a serious abnormality of the fetus, but, in the third world, poor and economically weak countries, abortions are performed to get rid of the female fetus.
There are numerous newspaper reports, and studies, to suggest that certain parts of the country are more prone to female infanticide than others. What is the essence of such reports? Plain and simple, female infanticide is still prevalent in our country. There are thousands of criminal cases reported each year where a budding female life is extinguished through infanticide.
An infanticide is a deliberate killing of female infants. Dictionary meaning of infant refers to a child of either gender up to and including the age of one year. Female infanticide is practised in many parts of the world, including India. The reasons are deep rooted in the social, economic, gender and even cultural biases of the society. These societies are patriarchal in nature and mostly suffer from economic shortages. The prevalence of dowry systems and cultural belief that only sons can perform the last rites further propagate such practices.
Sadly, even in these times of 21st century India, women face strong gender bias. First, the female fetuses face the fear of abortion after the illegal gender establishment testing at the ultrasound clinics. If they survive this stage, they face the threat of female infanticide. If they are fortunate enough to cross this hurdle too, the fear of eventual rape always looms large over their heads.
In 2022, the total number of rape cases reported in India amounted to over 31 thousand. The word “reported” is very important here. A large number of rapes go unreported for fear of social stigma involved. What a paradox that rape is a matter of shame for the victim in our society, rather than the perpetrator.
Let us face the harsh realities with intellectual honesty. Indian women are always in a state of high alerts for their safety. Even at home, they are vulnerable, thanks to the overcast shadows of the lecherous relatives. Alone, in public places and public transport, they have to ward off prying eyes, teasing, physical abuse and shaming. At working places and offices, they face unsolicited sexual insinuations and even molestation.
India is known to be one of the most dangerous countries in the world for women. We are a predominantly patriarchal society. Somehow, and sadly, domestic violence is known to be culturally acceptable.
A non-earning wife is even more vulnerable. Her condition is far worse than a working woman who contributes financially to the household. Physical contribution is not considered of value. All this leads to disempowerment and abuse of women.
There were at least 1,40, 000 cases of cruelty by husbands and relatives, in the year 2022, in India. This is just the tip of an iceberg because most of the cases are never reported. Poverty is rampant, literacy is rather low and awareness is still something to be desired. Even educated, working and earning women suffer domestic abuse and violence at the hands of their husbands.
We may worship women during religious ceremonies and hold festivals in their honour ; we may call woman a deity or the reincarnation of divinity quoting from scriptures of religions in practice. The world may acknowledge the acumen of female scientists, doctors and engineers ; actors, musicians and painters ; politicians, administrators and business tycoons.
A Golda Meir, Margaret Thatcher or Indira Gandhi is, but an exception. The stark reality that looks askance is this : women are under great physical and mental stress, abuse and threats. Especially, in the third world economies. Just look around.
On a saner and optimistic note, let me assert that women are not equal to men ; they are, in fact, far better and stronger. That is exactly why they are subjugated by men, lest they acquire supremacy over the men of the world. If anything, the man-dominated world has never been fair to women. We need improve upon this situation and give the women their rightful place, status and position. If we fail to do so, rest assured, they would snatch it, much sooner than later.
Men of the world must desist from female fetus abortions, female infanticide, and all kinds of violation of her persona. Just let women live like free men and pursue their destiny. Forget about empowerment of women. Simply ensure equity of the genders in all walks of life. She will do wonders and the society will be a better place to live. Let there be no doubt about it.
Renowned Urdu poet Sahir Ludhianvi thus describes misfortunes of the womenfolk in one of his famous and poignant nazm :
aurat sansar ki qismat hai phir bhi taqdir ki heti hai /
autar payambar janati hai phir bhi shaitan ki beti hai /
ye vo badqismat maan hai jo beton ki sej pe leti hai /
aurat ne janam diya mardon ko mardon ne use bazar diya /
Woman is fortune of the world, yet called it’s humiliation /
Gives birth to reincarnations of gods and prophets, still called daughter of demons /
She is doomed to sleep in the beds of the sons she bore /
Woman gave birth to mankind, men put her in bazars….
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