Taresh Gupta
“To all the little girls who are watching, never doubt that you are valuable and powerful and deserving of every chance and opportunity in the world to pursue and achieve your own dreams.” -Hillary Clinton in her 2016 concession speech
With women occupying a few top positions in the political, corporate and administrative leadership, we believe that our entire society is evolving with time. We believe that our daughters deserve an equality of opportunity vis-à-vis our sons in all spheres of their lives. We believe that sending our daughters to the best of schools is necessary and sufficient to equip them of fighting ‘the world’. We believe that our daughters and sisters are special and deserve to live a comfortable and cozy life without having to go through hardships of ‘the world’.
But, is this belief in our positive intentions enough for our girls to live happy, independent and successful lives?
Or, it has to be backed by the required action. That’s the question.
The successes of a few ladies like Indira Nooyi and Chanda Kochhar which have been quoted as the testimonies of women’s progress are indeed some great examples to be followed. But, we must also keep in mind that those are successes at individual and family levels and not indicative of the mental progress of the general populace of our society, as a whole.
Talking of inadequate political representation in our leadership bodies, it must be brought to light that it is not because the often said “Government is corrupt” or ” Government does nothing” attitude or reasoning that hinders our daughters, sisters or mothers from occupying leadership positions, but it is because of the prevalent norms and customs of the society we live in. The Government is what its people elect and the elected representatives of a constituency mostly represent the innermost aspirations and beliefs of the society. Think about it.
Believing that our daughters deserve an opportunity equal to our sons is merely a first step towards their progress. But, do we actually accord equal importance to their education and upbringing? If yes, then why is it that people start worrying of their daughters’ marriage once they reach adulthood? It’s not as worrying as getting a son married at the same age. Why? It’s because we, as individuals and as families unknowingly value societal acceptance, approval and expectations more than we value our daughters’ self dependence and happiness in the long run. The argument that people wanting their daughters to live a comfortable and cozy life, without having to struggle does not hold any rational ground as it eventually makes her happiness and life completely dependent on her new family and its members. This sometimes leads to lack of self worth in her mind pushing her parlor and salon bills further, increasing the number of her kitty party whatsapp groups, and in the efforts of trying to make everyone at her new home happy, she is left exhausted. Is this what we want for our girls? Is this not struggling? Is it not better for her to learn and earn, and hire domestic help to do the chores?
This not only will propel her in the directions of her dreams, but also offer help to a needy person willing to offer domestic help for paltry monthly wage. Apart from leaving a legacy in her workplace, she will act as a role model for the daughters of her family, earn for and build reputation of the family, though only in the progressive society. She is the mother of your child and her first teacher, do you not want her to be self confident, learned and worldy wise? This engagement in productive work will not leave her any time to engage in gossip or town buzz, or watch daily soap operas and their repeat telecasts. That’s good. She too will have a career and an independent life. Her marriage will be companionship of two persons in its true sense and spirit. Do you not want that for your daughter?
If yes, then the only thing stopping us is the society’s opinion. Why do we accord such a high status to society’s opinion? It is because we, ourselves are the society. We must change our own rigid mindsets for our societies to reform and also, educate people around us regarding the same. Had societal practices not been reformed, whenever the need was felt to do so in the earlier times, the Sati Pratha would still have continued as an auspicious religious practice.
A few people might talk highly of equal treatment being given to both genders at their homes. Then, why does the name plate outside the house does not read her name, despite of the fact that she is the homemaker. Why is it shocking for them when a daughter claims her rightful share in her parents’ property?
The acceptance of any problem is the first step to solving it. So, we must take the first step first.
This needed empowerment of women holds even more relevance in our state whose main source of revenue is derived from tourism and related merchandise sale, but has been severely affected in the recent times. Given the hospitable nature of women, it is economically wise to educate and empower her to utilize the utmost economic potential of our state’s tourism services. The handicrafts and handloom cottage industry of the valley , of whose workforce, women form a major part has suffered a setback in the past few years. For its revival too, we need their contribution.
Now, the Government must proceed towards making education, working and commuting conditions comfortable for women. Our state has a poor and rotten public transportation system which acts as a deterrent for her to attain higher education at colleges and work after that. The sweaty and unhygienic matador seats, its reckless drivers and the frequency and duration of stops reduce her morale to work. At the workplace, hygienic working conditions with clean and separate toilets for women will cancel out one more of her reasons of not working. These steps, though not sufficient are necessary to capitalize on the potential of our women’s capabilities and talents.
Parents and families too must try to give their daughters the required guidance, direction and motivation for her to be independent and successful. Instead of asking them what she wants to be, we must find out what they naturally gravitate to. For, it will help her find a fulfilling career for life and not just a job.
“Feminism isn’t about making women strong. Women are already strong. It’s about changing the way the world perceives that strength.”
-G.D. Anderson
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