Gauri Chhabra
We may have reached Mars and overcome all obstacles in our lives but there is one thing that always scares us- losing our jobs- we want to hold on to them and losing them becomes our worst nightmare- so much so that when we should be speaking up , we shut up.
Cruising through in your job is feel like walking on eggshells. You are always worried about doing the right thing, or saying the right words- you are full of fear.But succumbing to that fear can seriously impact your career success. By playing it safe, you miss out on opportunities to grow, hone your skills, and do your job more efficiently.
So, as you brace yourself for the New Year, brace yourself to face the following fears at work:
Meeting with your boss:
When did you last have a meeting with your boss? If you are thinking- “Oh, well, he didn’t invite me”- let me tell you- this is an initiative you will have to take. Because, after all, it your career not his. Managers tend to have busy schedules, and many employees don’t want to risk impeding on their time, not sure if their boss considers a meeting with them a priority. Initiate a meeting with him. These meetings can be incredibly helpful to your career advancement and success in your individual position within the department. An individual meeting gives you the chance to ask for advice about tricky situations or assignments, talk through challenges, and most importantly, request feedback about your performance.
Brutally honest feedback:
We all are scared of feedback – it may boomerang. As long as it is positive, it is palatable- but when it becomes brutally honest, it makes us nervous. It’s the fear of the unknown-asking that open-ended question “How do you think my meeting went?”, not knowing whether your boss will pat you on the back or give a disapproving shake of his head. You may get praise, but you also may get flat-out criticism.But keep in mind: Without feedback, you’re not going to get better. Without knowing how you can improve, you simply won’t. You’ll continue to do things the way you always have.Feedback can pinch you out of your cushy zone, but do not be scared of it. It would make you advance your career in the right direction.
So, face your feedback and take steps to improve your performance.
Abrupt phone call:
The business etiquette Gurus will not like me for this. We have become so accustomed to sending meeting invites that phone call is like barging in someone’s privacy. Email simply seems less intrusive and gives recipients more time to really think through an answer, rather than putting them on the spot. It’s the way most people communicate, and you are scared of breaking that mold.
I agree. But at times the matter is such that waiting for a formal meeting invite delays the process. When you pick up the phone, you can often get the answer to a quick question in a fraction of the time or a better understanding of an intricate concept-one that would have been next to impossible to summarize in an email.
It doesn’t have to be your go-to method of communication-but you shouldn’t be too fearful to switch it up when the situation demands it.
Question and doublecheck:
In this complex corporate scenario, it’s likely you get requests from every direction; sometimes from your boss, sometimes from your co-workers, and sometimes from other departments. We are so eager to please that we often jump on to them without questioning the need for those. It’s a fear of saying “no” mixed with the question of whether they’re even allowed to decline a request.Failing to evaluate these outside assignments, however, can lead to wasted time and a focus on the wrong priorities. For example, just last week, one of my co-workers jumped on an “urgent” assignment she received from another department and spent the entire day scrambling to finish it. When my boss found out about the project later that evening, he revealed that if he’d known about it, he wouldn’t have had her work on it at all. It simply wasn’t a priority for our department.So, when you receive requests from people other than your boss-especially if they don’t seem to jive with your usual work. It is perfectly alright to bring it to your boss to make sure it’s something you should actually be working on.
Do not be in a hurry to please.
Bare bones of your ideas:
When I started my career I was made responsible for revamping the company’s website. I was full of zest and enthusiasm but was terrified to share anything with my in to my boss-because I assumed that if it wasn’t perfect, it would prove that I didn’t deserve the role. Perfectionist that I was, it would take me weeks of editing and re-editing to finally turn it in, and even then, I wasn’t confident about the final product.But eventually, my boss helped me learn that sometimes, it’s best to get something on paper, then let him take a look. He’d provide his guidance and let me know sooner rather than later if I needed to do anything differently or, alternatively, if I was on the right track all along.
I’m not saying you should turn in your WIP(Work in Progress). But it is always better to share the direction of your thoughts as it would save time at both ends. You have to face and overcome the fear of failure and your thought process being out rightly rejected. He or she will usually be glad to point you in the right direction. Just make sure to do this well before it’s actually due. Turning in something at the last moment with the side note “I’m really not sure if this right” would be more harmful for your career.
Lack of knowledge:
This fear is like a plague. Since our childhood, it has been ingrained in our minds that in order to be successful, we need to know it all. We are fearful about coming out with our ideas because we’re scared people will poke serious holes in what we think, believe, and do. We’re afraid others will tear it down and label us as hacks and fakers.
It’s a fact – the more you stretch, the more people will try to tear you down. As you spread your wings wider and farther, you’ll inevitably bump into more challenge and disagreement. That’s part of the territory. The question is, “How much do you really want this? ” If you want greater success, you need to stop yourself from feeling emotionally devastated when your colleagues attack you and your work. And you need to stop feeling elated when people say you’re great. Either edge of the see saw- being wedded to praise or destroyed by criticism will hold you back.
Just remember, it is perfectly alright if you do not know something- no company will get rid of you because, you do not know something. You can lose your job by pretending and playing Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde… though.
Failure:
Nothing succeeds like success. This epigram has instilled in us a deep seated fear- that of failure. We’ve all heard that you have to embrace failure and make it your friend if you want success at the highest level. But I’ve seen that people who are “perfectionist- doing more than is healthy, more than is appropriate, and more than is necessary and needing an “A+” in all of it , actually can’t overcome this fear without help. They live in fear that they’ll blow it, because when they slip up and make mistakes, they allow their mistakes to shatter and defeat them.
Don’t kid yourself. You’re not confident and controlled – you’re afraid. The best way to get over that fear is to start making mistakes, and learn to love yourself in the face of them. Stretch out of your comfort zoneand agree to allow yourself to mess up, and pat yourself when you do.
Therefore, confront your fears, stare them in the face. It has been rightly said, “How we handle our fears will determine where we go with the rest of our lives…”
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