Lt Col R K Langar
What is dependence
To be dependent on other means that we have not developed ourselves inwardly and we depend on others for finding our way in life. As a child one is totally dependent on his parents. But when one grows up one should stand on his own feet and face worldly problems with confidence. You can face outer situation in a purposeful manner only when inwardly you are strong and balanced. As is the inner, so shall the outer will appear.
Root of dependency is expectation where we are totally dependent on others and expect them to solve our problems. Expectation puts you on a wanting mode. Those who depend upon others lead a miserable life whereas those who are depended upon by others are assets to the society. Dependency on others may appear satisfying to you but in the long run it will make you unhappy. Relationship should be governed by love for others and not on expectation from others. The worst type of expectation is the emotional dependency. The beauty of our relationship with others is not to expect in return for directing our love and good behavior towards others. Dependency spoils relationship.
Take the case of our happiness. Many of us depend upon others for our happiness. If I meet so and so I shall be happy. You will be happy to meet the person you wish to meet but as soon as the person leaves, your happiness will end, if not at once but after sometime after the person leaves your company. What is the use of short term happiness which is dependent on outer circumstances. Dependency weakens us mentally, emotionally and even intellectually.
How to be independent
At an average state of existence or consciousness we all want to be independent without any interference from others. We do not like to be tied down as we feel we can do what we want. This tendency is more found in teen age groups. But this independence is not the real independence since we think we are independent based on what our mind tells us. But mind is not everything in a man. There is our intellect, the discriminatory power and our soul or Atma which is the major component of our personality. To become independent, we have to unlock our divine potential by aligning ourselves to a higher ideal. We are potentially divine as our soul is divine. We have all the treasures within us and these treasures are human values, moral values and spiritual values. The innate qualities of our soul are truth, knowledge and bliss – SAT CHIT ANAND which contain all higher values of life which we have to manifest to become independent. We not only have to know higher values of life but we have to practice them and live them to become self reliant and independent. Human values are those values which a man must possess as a human being. Value is something which gives maximum benefit to maximum number of people. As human beings we will have the intellect which has the power of discrimination to differentiate between what is righteous and what is unrighteous. The other important human value is our will power to act in a righteous way. Will power is a positive function of mind and intellect, which impels us to move in a right direction and also discard wrong or unrighteous actions.
Moral values are those values which are taught in our different religions like love for all, truth, non violence, peace, purity and compassion. Moral values when imbibed motivate us to work selflessly. Morality is a big factor for self motivation. Spiritual values are the values of soul or Atma which is Absolute truth, Absolute knowledge and Absolute Bliss. Truth as a value also contains honesty, loyalty, purity, non deceitful which brings to us trust worthiness and honor to our character. Truth is the real nature of soul that makes us bold, courageous and straight forward. The second value of soul is knowledge which is to understand that soul is the essence of man and soul and body are different. Other values under knowledge are humility, integrity, patience, tenacity, self control, self effacement, non attachment, equal mindedness to all desirable and undesirable happenings and whole hearted discipline. The third value of soul is Bliss or Ananda which has no opposite. Real sense of independence comes in us when we become spiritual. Foundation of spirituality is practice of moral and human values, so that morality goes into our blood. Spirituality is recognizing the Divine principal in man and growing with it. Spirituality empowers you to become independent by virtue of the values inside you. Besides becoming independent you feel oneness with others, you love others unconditionally and you perform your works in a spirit of service for the mankind.
Interdependence is the law of life
First and foremost, it must be clearly understood that interdependence is not depending. Man is not an island where he lives cut off from the rest of the world. World is one big family where we cooperate with each other in extending to others thing which are needed for days to day living. All persons are in different professions. They are doing different jobs. If everyone was doing the same job then it would not be possible for a human being to exist. Man needs food, water, shelter, job to sustain his worldly living and for all this he has to depend on others who can provide him with all what he needs. The others also depend upon him for what he purchases from them. Those who provide things to other depend upon others for the own sustenance. Such interdependence makes the world a functional outfit with each one contributing towards the welfare and needs of others. Such interdependence is natural which does not affect your independence. As every part of a machine must work properly for smooth running of the machine, similarly all individuals must perform their allotted tasks in the own profession for smooth running of the society. Interdependence is the law of life. There is no superior or inferior profession. You only understand the true meaning of interdependence when you have evolved yourself from being dependent to independent. Then you realize that interdependence is not depending but a team work based on the basis of cooperation, so that the needs of the society are met in a purposeful manner. Interdependence to be effective people must put in their best in the respective professions. All men are equal in essence. Realizing this shall remove apparent difference of high and low status in which different people in society are placed. Interdependence is a blessing from God Almighty for all living creatures in the world. Interdependence is interconnection where you maintain your own identity and yet remain independent. It must be clearly understood that world is a living hole with vast interconnectedness having cosmic harmony and sustained by one God without a second.
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