Dr Rani Mughal
Hey ladies, If you are struggling in your relationship with your man who barely adores you despite you being a nonstop yes girl and a pushover, your place in the relationship is that of a pursuer. In a man-woman relationship, this is not a trait typical of a female.
To be more explicit, let’s discuss the two types of feminine energies that are understood to exist. Dark feminine energy and light feminine energy. Women exhibiting light feminine energy gush over, are too nice and easy to understand, too caring, too kind, and too playful. They want to chase rainbows, empty their minds, become formless, and shapeless, and sabotage their career for the man they adore. They don’t value their own worth in the relationship dynamics. Because their basic instinct is to love and take care. On the other hand dark feminine energy is mysterious wherein women set the boundaries within the relationship. They are well-behaved, balanced, take care of themselves, and prioritize what they want. In brevity, they are the ones who are not like open books. They have a mysterious aura. They are grown, calm, composed, and mature. However, that doesn’t mean they are bad. It is only that they know when and where to say NO. Surprisingly men prefer women having dark feminine energy. In movies, women with light feminine energy are seen having an edge over the others but the reality is a bit flabbergasting as this type of dynamic in a relationship doesn’t work. Perhaps the well-known human tendency applies to men too that they always want what they can’t have. Men lose interest in the self-sacrificing women after six months as they desire novelty and change whereas the women are longing for their significant other’s attention. They abandon everyone around them in the beginning for their men and end up damaging their relationships around them in addition to not being able to win the attention and love of their significant others. At the end of the day the marriage begins to fall apart and their relationship doesn’t last. As this has been seen over the years that women are attracted to those who can throw beautiful words at them. Many women fall prey to the lusciousness of pleasure-seeking men at the beginning of the relationship just because they can please them with their words. The novelty of the experience lasts till there is a level of uncertainty involved in the relationship and the insecurity of losing the other person plays out. But when they start living with each other 24/7 men become bored as too much certainty in their relationship makes the relationship monotonous. The excitement of the relationship exists only during the early stages of the relationship. Another reason for the cooling of relationships in a marriage is when wives try to become mothers to their husbands. As time passes by, they become more clingy and nagging without realizing the fact that men not only want an alluring woman but also crave respect.
Ladies, if you want your partner to desire you, don’t let him get bored. Keep things spicy before the relationship becomes monotonous and boring. Sometimes become interesting, a little unpredictable, and say no once in a while. No doubt men listen to you but they respond more to your actions. To whatever degree your feelings are for them they are designed in a certain way that they fall for those women who are out of their league. This is just the opposite of what women do because they get more and more deeply in love with the ones they spend time with and speak with as the conversations increase proximity.
So, after your honeymoon phase is over, if you realize your man is not seemingly interested in you, practise some strategies.
* Stop being an open book to him.
* ?Don’t try to control him.
* ?Avoid mothering him or else he will want breaks.
* ?Don’t always be a pursuer as this is not a feminine trait.
* ?Always say less than necessary.
* ?Have amazing moments and quality time with him.
* ?Exchange gifts.
* ?Give the words of affirmation.
* ?Physical touch including caressing and cuddling without having intimacy.
* ?Have an escape from the humdrum routine of your life.
* ?Don’t be the second banana in someone’s life.
* ?Stay away from catfishing and peacocking.
* ?Have some spunk in your character.
* ? Analyze their minds and act accordingly.
Even though we may not be accustomed to relationship dynamics, we have our brains in our head and not in our shoes. Sadly the whole spectrum of our emotions steer us to a dead end where we become door mats, be it in marriage or in other relationships involving man and woman. So beware of your own worthiness. Come out of the misconception that your spouse should love you unconditionally because that is not possible. Note that they may love you unconditionally but they may not desire you unconditionally. So play it right so what if it is not a game.
(The author is Principal Government Degree College Surankot)
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