WASHINGTON, Aug 3: It is not always best to forgive and forget in your marriage, sometimes it is okay to let out the anger bottled-up inside you!
According to a new study, sometimes expressing anger might be necessary to resolve a relationship problem.
Researchers from Florida State University have found that expressing anger may have short-term discomfort of an angry and honest conversation but in the long-run it will benefit the health of the relationship.
A popular research trend in recent years, positive psychology has offered the promise that with forgiveness, optimism, kindness, and positive thinking, people can turn around their relationships even after a serious transgression.
In a set of recent studies, James McNulty found that forgiveness in marriage can have some unintended negative effects.
“We all experience a time in a relationship in which a partner transgresses against us in some way. For example, a partner may be financially irresponsible, unfaithful, or unsupportive,” McNulty said.
“When these events occur, we must decide whether we should be angry and hold onto that anger, or forgive,” he said.
“Believing a partner is forgiving leads agreeable people to be less likely to offend that partner and disagreeable people to be more likely to offend that partner,” he said.
Anger can serve an important role in signalling to a transgressing partner that the offensive behaviour is not acceptable, he said in a statement.
“If the partner can do something to resolve a problem that is likely to otherwise continue and negatively affect the relationship, people may experience long-term benefits by temporarily withholding forgiveness and expressing anger,” he added.
The research will be presented at the American Psychological Association’s (APA) annual convention in Orlando this week. (PTI)
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