You may agree with Russian President Vladimir Putin or disagree. You may love him or hate him for his acts of agression against Ukraine. You may be supporting the Russians or the Ukrainians in the ongoing war between the two nations. Please suit yourself. But, today I wish to narrate a Russian ritual that I wish all Dogras should follow.
Russians don’t forget their heroes ; especially the war heroes, the martyrs. They not only remember them in their hearts, they also show to the world their acts of active remembrance. They often visit the nearest war memorial to pay their respects. There are so many war memorials all across Russia.
However, there is one special occasion in their lives, when it is customary for them to visit the nearby war memorial. On their wedding day, after signing the register at the office of the registrar of marriages, the bride and the groom head for the nearest war memorial.
The groom is wearing his military uniform. As in Israel, all able body youth have to serve the military for a couple of years in Russia. The bride is wearing her white wedding gown and carrying a big bouquet of white flowers.
They lay the bouquet at the base of the pillar that is erected to commemorate the sacrifices of their ancestors.
In silent reverence, they bow their heads to the memory of all those soldiers, known or unknown, who have laid down their lives in defence of their motherland.
It is a solemn occasion of thanksgiving for all those who have ensured the freedom of their countrymen at the cost of their own lives. This is the ceremony all newly weds perform expressing their gratitude to those who gave them the peace and freedom to live in their own land with pride and marry the person of their choice.
There is a similarity between the Russians and the Dogras. Russia fought many wars and lost their forefathers in the battlefields. They lost the largest number of their kith and kin in the two global wars the world has suffered.
Dogras too have been participating in the battlefields since times immemorial. They too have laid down their lives in defending their sides. Each family of the Dograland, by and large, boasts of a warrior or two. In fact, there are families where we have fourth and fifth generation men wearing military uniforms with a great sense of pride. Boy, they love to wear their pride on the sleeves !
In essence the Dogras are warriors. They have been a part of the state forces of the Dogra kings and, after Independence, they are an integral part of the Indian armed forces. Today, a large number of Dogras don the uniform of the para military forces as well. After all, they represent a martial race.
Thousands and thousands of Dogra warriors have laid down their lives in the line of duty. Today, almost every Dogra family will boast of men in the armed forces. In many battles, the Dogras fought the Dogras, and irrespective of who was the victor, the dead were all Dogras.
Don’t you think that we, the Dogras, need to learn from this grand and touching ritual performed in Russia, be it St Petersburg, Moscow or the farthest areas of the snowbound mountains ?
As per the census of 2011, there are about 25 lakh Dogri speaking persons. This figure may have risen to an estimated 30 lakh by now.
At any given time there are around two to three lakh Dogra soldiers from the Jammu region, along with the adjoining areas of Punjab and, of course, Himachal Pradesh.
Stories of bravery and courage of the soldiers from the Dogra regiments and the JAK Rifles have inspired generations of Indian soldiers.
But, do we Dogras remember our martyrs in reverence ? The plain answer is an emphatic ” no”. We hardly even refer to their sacrifices. There is almost no mention of our great soldiers in the school books our children read.
Our young minds learn how powerful were those who invaded our lands, tortured our ancestors and even had the temerity to convert them by the power of their swords. But, hardly, if any, mention of the legendary generals like Baj Singh and Zorawar Singh is passed on to the young minds.
Who bothers about Brig Rajinder Singh, Brigadier Usman or even Major Som Nath Sharma, the first military man to be decorated with a PVC ( Param Veer Chakra ).
In olden days, all across the world, no war memorials were ever erected in memory of the fallen soldiers who laid down their lives. They remained unknown and unsung. Many of them could not get a burial, a grave or even a word of gratitude for the supreme sacrifice they made. No, we are not talking of an honorable burial. Just a plain burial with no ceremonies attached.
But, the war lords and kings erected memorials as a mark of their victory and to tell the world about their bravery and courage. They wanted to commemorate their personal achievements.
The earliest war memorials, as we know of them today, started coming up sometime in the 14th century. That was the time they started building memorials for the dead warriors, whether victorious or defeated.
The real trend of war memorials, however, started after the first world war. In this great war, about 10 million military men were dead and 23 million wounded. Let these huge figures sink properly. I repeat, more than one crore were dead and over two crore thirty lakhs wounded. Estimated population of Himachal plus the UT of Jammu & Kashmir is only about 22 million !
Russia lost the greatest number of her warriors. That is, perhaps, why it has erected some very aesthetic and somber war memorials and kept them well too.
An attempt was made by the government of Jammu and Kashmir to erect a war memorial right here in the extended city of Jammu. This memorial was inaugurated on 24 November 2009. It is the brainchild of General N C Vij, a Jammuite, and an alumnus of my alma mater, Government Gandhi Memorial Science College, Jammu.
This war memorial called Balidan Stambh is erected to pay homage to all martyrs who sacrificed their lives during wars and counter insurgency operations within Jammu and Kashmir region.
These 4877 martyrs include the police and paramilitary personnel besides the armed forces personnel of the Indo-Pakistani Wars of 1947-1948, 1965 and 1971, Sino-Indian War of 1962, Kargil War of 1999 and the anti militancy operations which have been going on since 1990.
How many Dogras of Jammu have made an effort to visit the Balidan Stambh, the grand war memorial erected in the heart of the city ? Are we even aware that such a memorial exists in Jammu?
I have never met a person from whom I have not learnt a thing or two. I am a good learner, a great student. This is the time we learn an act of great social significance from the Russians.
I have a fervent desire to implore my fellow Dogras to adopt the Russian ritual of paying homage to the martyrs. Our brave Dogra soldiers richly deserve our respects and reverence. They have laid down their lives so that we can breathe the fresh air of free India in peace. Let us resolve that all Dogras shall pay their homage to those who laid down their lives for our freedom on the most important day of our lives.
I hereby beseech all Dogras to visit the nearby war cemetery or war memorial and pay their gratitude to the dead soldiers as they start a new chapter of their lives after their marriage.
Let each and every Jammuite visit the Balidan Stambh, situated near the base of the Bawe Wali Mata temple that we so often visit.
In India, as much as in Jammu, what do we do for our wedding ? Days and months before the event, we go shopping all around the city, practically visiting all the malls and showrooms to select fine clothes, accessories and other items and gadgets, besides collecting gifts for friends and relatives. Some of us who enjoy large amount of riches, go shopping to Delhi, Mumbai, Dubai and Singapore.
If you can afford it and enjoy shopping rich stuff, please let it continue by all means. No need to stop!
On your wedding day, if you wish to invite your friends and family for sumptuous food and drinks in a well decorated premises, please don’t change your minds. Let the celebrations carry on. You don’t wish to do certain traditional rituals, please yourself. It is entirely your wish, you are the boss.
What I ask you is this : please dress up in all your finery. Take your bride / groom to the Balidan Stambh, if you are in Jammu. Carry a small ( or large, if you so desire ) bouquet of flowers. Pay the floral tribute at the altar. Bow your head in reverence. Think of those who have laid down their lives for you so that today you are a citizen of a free country !
For those who are not in Jammu, I may suggest a visit to the nearest war cemetery or war nemorial. If these do not exist in your area, please pay a visit to the nearest military hospital and offer flowers to the wounded or convalescing soldiers. Or just visit the nearest military unit to pay your obeiscence. But, for heaven’s sake, do not forget your heroes and the martyrs. Jai Hind
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