Vasu Pachnanda
As women from all across the globe transcending regional barriers united under a common roof, pouring out harrowing accounts of sexual harassment and sexual abuse encountered by them at various points in their lives, it wasn’t surprising, much less appalling to witness the stark silence maintained by men, who somewhat felt discomfited by such an assertive expression wielded by the women to denounce the diabolic reality of sexual assault. This could be underlined by various reasons. Part of the male community choose silence probably out of the fear of being lambasted as a rape apologizer. And some of the silence could also be ascribed to an insecurity that probably they too in the past have acted inappropriately.
This campaign deserves all applaud for the sense of deep rooted consciousness that it has engineered in the minds of most men, who have been left contemplating whether they too have been culpable in the past, and somewhat accounted for the menace of sexual assault and harassment.
While the impact seems to be an inception to change, the areas which are supposedly targeted in the entire campaign seem far from sorted. While some cases are apparently clear, for instance forcing someone to perform a sexual act or exploiting a position of power to make them feel uncomfortable, there are a lot of grey areas that linger in uncertainty. What about a flirtatious email to an acquaintance or unwarranted interference in a women’s life? Most of the complicities that pass unnoticed but acutely impact the life of a woman are occasional stares, dubious jokes, complicity in diminishing or demeaning women, over complimentors, interrupters of women while they are talking.
Such instances are often taken for granted and are considered among inherent perks of male patriarchy that has imbibed itself, to a sickening extent in our day to day existence. The answer to such a situation is that the world and mind of men, which have a domineering and privileged inclination, must change. These rules of domination of men over women that has its roots in ancient patriarchy and was practiced unchallenged, all throughout the primitive times, needs to go. The eras have changed. Values such as equality and liberty have emerged as a fundamental core to a meaningful and fair existence. Women today are soilders, CEO’s and what not.
So it’s high time, that our notions adjust to the palpable realities. Men cannot shun all accountability by just saying “Men will be Men”. The lifeline of this adage has expired long ago, so it’s about time that we update ourselves to the new realm of realities by condemning sexism in all its attires. The license that men think they have, inherent to their position in life-to dominate, harass, grope, abuse, attack and rape, has to expire. Their unchecked freedom that transcends all logic must be curtailed to create space for women and give them their dues. So to sum it up, men must not be allowed to be men” without proper boundaries and limitations to their unwarranted acts.
In curbing this diseased mindset, education has an imperative role to play. Without shying away citing traditional concerns, a more holistic approach to sex education in schools, can address the mess that we have landed ourselves into. This sort of a curriculum in schools to reassert questions regarding consent, about how to respect personal space and boundaries, language appropriate to define sex, and distinguishing between healthy and unhealthy relationships can go a long way to cure our rudimentary mindsets.
This could also start at homes, for instance which is an inception to our distorted, privileged masculinity. The key to changing men is to change boys and girls by tell them the difference between appropriate and inappropriate. It is here that most of our misplaced notions are born. Women are somehow forced to accept their traditional position, to defer to men and endure abuse, from fathers, brother or husband.
If we have to tackle the larger menace the change must spring from our very homes. The idea of male privilege in itself is fatal to the essence of equality, and leads to further distortions.
From learning to law enforcement, their certainly lies a long road ahead for campaigns like MeToo to ultimately bring about the change that is intended.
To really give these campaigns their deserved space, we must ask ourselves if we have wronged anyone we know of. If yes, we have a way to go by apologizing. Otherwise, there is always an opportunity to mend our future conduct by acknowledging our previous mistakes. One of the fundamental loopholes to the MeToo campaign is the sense of anonymity that keeps men in the dark( assuming they are not already questioning their behaviors)
Further, knowing what is sexual and what behaviour constitutes sexual assault is often diluted by ascribing it as a subjective phenomenon. This is one of the approaches used by the detractors to turn a blind eye towards the horrors of sexual harassment. Giving it a somewhat objective perspective and inclusive touch by adopting a wider approach can help redeem this error to a major extent.
Last but not the least, making law takes its own course by reporting incidents of sexual assault and harassment at the right time and the soonest possibility and addressing them within the domain of law remain an indispensable part of amending the society and bringing about a larger change within the whole system.
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