Sapna K Sangra
Not too much of a movie person so to say but I have made some deliberate attempts in the recent past to at least put a tick against few for the sake of Bachchas to have something of their taste to remember too. Friends are kind enough to first review and then suggest me which ones to go in for keeping children on the mind. While the kids have their own outings and their quota of movies is generally fulfilled by their schools, I am left with just the summer break to decide one for. So, generally, it turns out to be one annually which is why my list so far isn’t too long. I can count them on my fingers for sure. ‘Farari Ki Swari’ is going to be a special one forever for that was the first one we got to see together. While I sobbed all through the movie, the kids comforted me holding hands. ‘English Vinglish’ was yet another venture. Luckily, of late, I had the bonus opportunity of seeing ‘Padman’ with my son who has just entered class nine; daughter being away, it was just the two of us and not to include the Daddy Dear who would, anyway, consider movies as wastage of three precious hours. What do you do except for putting up with an Anti Movie Dad who would bring National Geographic Channel and Wildlife in between anything!
So considering the social relevance of the subject, we set out for the Padman. We comfortably watched the film until the time my son shot his first question. It was a traditional dance sequence wherein, a young girl is made to sit in the middle and is ducked up with jewellery etc while the other women around her go dancing and singing. Why have they made this girl sit in the middle was his first question followed instantly by another one, the reasons for the dance by other women? Before I had manoeuvred to make myself comfortable and had looked for some words to explain him, he nonchalantly answered by himself. “Menarche”, said he. The usage of the term was correct but I insisted upon the correct pronunciation of the term to which I was told that that was how his Science Teacher pronounced the word while explaining him the chapter.
The point I want to drive home is certainly not about the Pronunciation of the word but the ease with which my son could use that word with me. I would give a part of the credit to the teacher for having discussed the subject with the students and not making the class skip the chapter relating to reproduction as used to be the practice earlier. Sex education to our children is never considered a healthy and an important subject within schools and families. The subject is often brushed aside. At the outset, it is not considered healthy to have such questions even come to your child’s mind. If a child has certain questions related to his or her bodily changes, there is no source he can get the correct information from. Secondly, all thanks to our socialization, Indian parents do not consider discussion around these issues as appropriate or something that is needed. Thirdly, there is a stigma surrounding such issues. If a child is observed raising such questions or trying to seek answers to satisfy his curiosity, they may be reprimanded for their behaviour. Lastly, Parents and teachers feel uncomfortable addressing the issue owing to the inhibitions surrounding the same but seldom do we realize that by avoiding guiding our children on the subject, we are doing them more harm than any good. It’s time for us as a society to wake up to the changing times and introduce mechanisms within our families and in our educational institutions to allow for healthy discussion on the subject.
This can be achieved by conscientiously taking up the discussion on such issues as a part of the curriculum. I can recall some of our Moral Science books too had such subjects discussed besides the mandatory chapter in the Science books. It’s important for teachers to make children comfortable with the new terms and use them with ease and allow children to ask questions. I remember our school showing us some movies on the subject. I am sure, we have more of such sources now than we had twenty years back. Schools must also have good and trained counsellors for this very purpose. Teachers engaged with the teenagers must also be trained and counselled to deal with children patiently as most teenagers undergo varied physical and emotional changes which we are not able to take note of until the damage is done. Parents too need to come out of their taboos surrounding such issues. We need to make consistent efforts to connect with our children on every issue that concern their well being and lead us to become better societies. We must not shy away from taking help from different institutions such as our children’s schools. A close connection between the parents and the teachers and healthy discussions around the children’s growing needs is the way forward. All we have to be conscious of while doing this is to keep the age of the children in mind as different age groups require different understanding on the issue and our methodology of communicating the same varies accordingly. As they say, well begun is half done, I suggest you all sit down and enjoy Padman together just for the sake of making a beginning of having discussion with your children over the issues raised and I wish you all healthy discussions following the Padman!
(The writer teaches Sociology at the University of Jammu and is the state Chairperson of SPIC MACAY. She blogs at criticallensblogs.wordpress.com)
feedbackexcelsior@gmail.com
Follow our WhatsApp channel