T K Munshi
In every life we have some trouble. But when you worry you make it double.
A renowned Indian spiritual teacher, Meher Baba (1894-1969) often used the expression: “Don’t worry be happy” with his followers. Almost 20 years after Baba’s death, singer /songwriter Bobby McFerrin won a Grammy for his song based on this simple quote. The lyrics and musical beats struck a chord with many people who imagined an easier life sipping exotic drinks on their sandy beaches. Who wouldn’t want to live a more relaxed, worry-free lifestyle?
In our busy world it’s not unusual to feel worried from time to time. Worrying can be productive when it motivates us to address our problems. However, too much worrying can lead to daily anxiety, difficulty in concentrating, sleeplessness, fatigue, headaches and feelings of dread. If worrying becomes a long-term problem, it can affect your relationships and your physical and emotional health. Fortunately, there are ways to ease your worries.
Who are you worrying about?
Do you know that more than 95 percent of the things we worry about never actually happen? Some people spend a good part of their life worrying about all the things that could go wrong. When you engage in this type of thinking – “what if I never find a good job – what if I never meet someone and I spend my life alone,” your body generates adrenalin, which may increase the amount of anxiety you feel.
A healthier approach is to remind yourself that most often the things you worry about will never occur. In order to live your life fully and creatively, you must accept that there will be inevitable risks.
How much control do you have anyway?
There are two types of situations in life: those that you can change and those that you cannot. Worrying about what you cannot change wastes valuable energy you could be using to move your life in a more positive direction. Often times, our anticipation of a stressful situation is far greater than the actual event itself. Once we go forward and face our fears head on, our self-esteem skyrockets and our worries and anxieties diminish.
Faster is not better, so try slowing down:
Many people rush through their life in a hurried frenzy. They spend their days trying to get the most done in the least amount of time. As Mahatma Gandhi put it, “there is more to life than increasing its speed.” In an effort to live a more meaningful and relaxed life, we need to learn how to slow down.
Self-talk and perfectionism:
People who worry and suffer from anxiety are especially prone to engage in negative self-talk. They often hold themselves to the highest of standards and could aptly be called a perfectionist. Perfectionists are very critical of their performance and their self-talk sounds like this: “How could I let something like this happen?”Or “I never seem to get this right.” It’s no wonder that they worry about so much. They have to do things perfectly or else they will see themselves as a failure. Because we live in an imperfect world, a person who strives for perfection is guaranteed failure.
Exercise and diet:
Many researchers have found that the most effective treatment for anxiety and worry is developing a healthy diet and exercise routine. This lifestyle change is often more effective than “quick fixes”, such as prescription medications which come with negative side effects or even addiction. Any aerobic exercise done at least three times per week can help increase your ability to tolerate stress and will reduce tension. If you’re not currently exercising, consider adding this to your tool kit. One can experience a wonderful feeling of post-exercise relaxation.
Relaxation: From yoga to meditation to breathing exercises, there are numerous ways to incorporate relaxation into your daily life.
Try this simple breathing exercise to achieve a deep level of relaxation quickly.
Breathe from the abdomen, inhale through your nose slowly to a count of five.
Pause and hold your breath to a count of five.
Exhale slowly through your nose or mouth to a count of five, exhaling fully.
Take two breaths in your normal rhythm then repeat steps A-C. Do this for three minutes.
Laughter: A good sense of humor is one of your greatest allies in overcoming the effects of worry and anxiety. People who worry tend to take themselves and their lives too seriously. Instead, try taking yourself less seriously, your flaws included. Recognize your humanness and all that comes with it.
In the final verse of his song, Bobby McFerrin sends an important message. “Cause when you worry your face will frown and that will bring everybody down. Don’t worry —be happy.”
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