Dr.Vivek Sharma
Book Title : How to choose a suitable life partner
Genre-non-fiction
Author : Archana Tiwari
Published by : Mahavir publishers – New Delhi
With a strong social message of entering into the institution of marriage with proper preparation and planning as much as while choosing a career or buying a car , the author Dr Archana Tiwari, Gynaecologist and a premarital counselor at Apex Hospital, Gwalior has written the book “How to choose a suitable life partner.
Based on real life experiences and facts the book will help the youth in selecting the right kind of life partner who will simply fit into their compatibility parameter. Being a Gynaecologist, the author has put forward a very new concept of Medical Horoscope matching and premarital medical check up of both the prospective partners.
With people becoming more career oriented, casual and self-centred, marriage is gradually losing its status of a dignified institution. The sanctity attached to this institution is fading away. In metropolitan cities, the picture is even more disheartening. Divorce rates are skyrocketing. The book gives a well organized, step by step assessment of the prospective partner and it helps one pick a perfect life mate based on one’s physical, intellectual, social, spiritual, genetic and medical compatibilities. It explains all the pre-marriage considerations, motives, maintaining relationships that should be kept in mind while choosing one’s mate. The highlight of the book, which is touched for the first time in the world in any book for the youth is Premarital health check up and medical counseling. Talking right from the suitable age of marriage with the problems associated with early and Late marriages, chronic long term diseases and their financial load on the family, the concept of medical insurance for such diseases, addiction problems in the partners and their role in causing a turmoil in the lives of the partners post marriage, diagnosing the sexually transmitted diseases like HIV, Hepatitis , blood groups of the partners, detection of mental problems in them, assessing the genetic compatibility in the partners to avoid tragedies like Thalassemia, Haemophilia discouraging the bad traditions of Genital mutilation and virginity testing and knowing about the vaccinations one should take before getting married.
The author rightly points, “Our law should aim at making and maintaining marriages and discourage breaking marriages by the weapon of divorce.
The concept is new but there are certain hindrances to its application. Lack of education and poverty will result in making Premarital relationship and Medical counseling unpopular in the country. A mandatory Premarital medical test encroaches on the individual’s autonomy if it is forced by law. Citizens have lot of alternatives for such laws and can easily procure medical certificates by fraudulent means. In spite of all these hurdles the issue of premarital medical check-up should be conducted and made a necessary part of all marriages.
It is easy to criticize the premarital medical examination on grounds of human rights, control, oppression, and eugenics. An ethical question arises that the most important fundamental human right is to marry and reproduce, and the premarital medical examination undermines that right. The counselors should not impose their views on clients.
The counselor’s role is to provide facts on the disease or the genetic information in plain, comprehensible language (the rule of autonomy). The counselor should also consider clients’ social habits and religion before giving advice.
To save marriages they should implement genetic health law which covers the premarital counseling too, to enforce eugenics. Proper health certificate and a marriage license should be issued to cover the issue of genetic fitness. Protecting health of the future mother and children would upgrade the population quality and bring added happiness to the families.
If a test result proves positive for any genetic disorder or HIV in any of the prospective partners, does any law have the power to prevent them from legally marrying?
No, it would be an encroachment on the autonomy and the human rights of the individual. It would be completely unethical.
The book says that no health certificate is for the purpose of refusing a marriage license and debarring someone from getting married. There are 1,001 solutions for every health problem. This should be done only with the intention of legally binding both parties to inform their mates of their health status before they get married.
Generally speaking, there is no medical reason that should disqualify people from marriage; even if they are HIV/AIDS carriers.
Cousin couples or consanguineous marriages should also be scrutinized for genetic diseases.
As many youngsters getting married are not taking the married life seriously, divorce rates are on a rise. Iran has recently taken up the concept of premarital counseling.Taiwan, Turkey, Egypt, Spain, Portugal, Italy, Brazil, some Arab countries and China all have the practice of premarital medical examination. The public is made to understand that it is essential for good quality of progeny.
Overall the book is objective and thorough, the author being an authority on the subject and has a new message for the awareness of the society. Besides a few minor editing mistakes, the book has the power to provoke and raise crucial questions in the minds of the readers. In these times when the family fabric of the society is getting tethered due to unhappy families and divorces, I recommend this book as a must read for all youth.
About the author
The writer Dr Archana Tiwari is a lively, cheerful and an imaginative person who is a celebrated Obstetrician and Gynaecologist, a premarital medical counselor and Ultrasonologist running her own private nursing home at Gwalior. A gold medalist in her career, she has done her MBBS, MS from SMS Medical college, Jaipur. Besides her prestigious medical degrees she has also done Diploma in creative writing. Among her myriad talents she is an acclaimed debater, public speaker, writer with many awards and prizes to her credit. She has a penchant for writing- both fiction( Aalia, Queen of Hearts) and non-fiction(Let’s organise a sensational party). This is her fourth book. She has contributed many chapters in many medical books, journals, newspapers and websites. She has given various talks on radio and TV.
Her motivation to write this book was, as she says, “I always remember my father’s words, ‘Communication is the key to all problems.’ So I thought of communicating with the youth by writing this book for them, to save them from crisis like Divorces or entering into painful compromised marriages; you never know who may bear it. I have many young patients who are infertile because of undiagnosed medical problems or the ones who fight on petty issues and injure each other or their wife gets hysterically unconscious or who end up in unsafe abortions because of lacking knowledge in this field and many more issues. I’ll feel honoured if someone can use even a part of this book in their life and save their future marriage.”
(The Book Reviewer is a Consultant Paedtrician based in Jaipur.)
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